Part of the Process.

  • Get me a vodka rocks

    Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. I’m half machine. I’m a monster. Michael! No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Well, what do you expect, mother?

    • I want to come with you to Alderaan
    • I want to come with you to Alderaan
    • I want to come with you to Alderaan

    I want to come with you to Alderaan

    I call it luck. You don’t believe in the Force, do you? Kid, I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other.

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  • You may remember me

    You may remember me

    A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children. Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every […]

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  • You don’t vote for kings

    The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! The nose? Did you dress her up like this? You don’t […]

  • Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV. And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it!

    Hello Morbo
  • You look…perfect. I like seafood. Hello, Dexter Morgan. This man is a knight in shining armor. I’m not the monster he wants me to be. So I’m neither man nor beast. I’m something new entirely. With my own set of rules. I’m Dexter. Boo.

  • Santa Claus

    The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

  • I’m hugging you

    John: foo

    Mary: bar

    John: foo 2

    • Did nothing cancel?
    • Did nothing cancel?
    • Did nothing cancel?

    Did nothing cancel?

    Now, when you do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have more fun. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide. […]

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